I was reading through my previous entries and i realised that i've been through quite a lot. Events that have moulded me to be more matured and wise, ahhh the growing phases of a young adult who is trying to survive in this cruel world.
I'm feeling so lost and jaded. I long to love and be loved, i think i need to set a lower standard with realistic expectations because I've been living in fantasy all these while. Thoughts of my ideal partner are drilled with perfection in my head; perfect features, perfect body, perfect intelligence, perfect personality, a perfect person - basically an idol who possesses such traits and characteristics. Who am i kidding?
I need to stop living in denial. I need to stop being delusional. I need to be more real.
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It's moments like these which make me think. Think about my life and the way i live all these while. I want to let go completely but there are bound to be inevitable scraps and pieces buried deep within. It's hard.
I want to be out of the cage i've been living in. I'm envisioning myself running freely alongside pretty flowers and wide patches of greeneries. I'm alone. There's no one here and i feel emancipated. Nothing's bothering me, my mind's freed of problems and worries. I breathe deeply; the scent of freshness and liberation captivate my sense of smell.
This is perfect.
Suddenly, i hear thunderstorms. I woke up and realised It's all been a dream.
