realised that i'm very contented with simple pleasures in life, i would forego partying for a night of htht conversations which is rewarding and easy.
i'm beginning to let go because bearing a grudge would make me an evil person. i would harbour heinous thoughts which are detrimental to my well-being, and i might even lose grip of reality and myself. even though it's hard to just hoist the white flag, i know i'll emerge stronger.
xx
today was fun! hung out with new friends, at one of their cribs, just wasting our life away talking about everything and anything. i was dunking my oreo into the milk, and my hands and lips got messy. we all laughed about it, in pure fun and enjoyment. ate chic rice and some beef rendang, with chips thereafter. this was actually our second meet-up but we all felt comfortable with each other. this is nice, i love making new friends whom i can easily open up to
gym tmr, i hope i'm not lazy.
xx
it's tiring how i try really hard sometimes but it just backfired. like how i really try to maintain a good impression of myself but i screwed up. i form a million thoughts in my mind, commanding myself on how i should respond or act in a particular situation. i would mentally plan my words before saying them out, or i would actually envision beforehand how my body language would be. yes, i am THAT critical of myself
yet, most of the times, it doesnt work out and i really hate myself.
maybe, i shouldn't even try. i'm so tired of trying.
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