with the year coming to an end, i would like to deliberately close this chapter of my life. all these whirlpool of extreme emotions have made me become so fragile and delicate. i've wasted my chances while hurting people along the way. and of course, i've been hurt myself.
i've had enough of wanting to be someone else because of the ideals i set. i don't want to be someone else anymore. i want to be myself. and i'm not gonna give a fuck about expectations. i'm not gonna restrain myself just because i think i'm not good enough(these happened UNCOUNTABLE times this year). the thing is, who will EVER be good enough? who defines 'good enough' anyway? there's no absolute measure of it because it is just a relative term. if you say someone is hot, you are comparing him/her to someone you have in mind and that in itself is subjective. everyone is beautiful regardless. we have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. we are unique, and to compare ourselves with someone else is absolutely unfair because there isn't any yardstick of comparison in the first place.
all these superficial crap can just rot in hell. i'm not gonna spend 24/7(i used to do it, no joke) of my time brooding over it/lamenting over things i don't have. what's the point? i'm not gonna let something i lack stop me from utilising what i have to the fullest potential. besides, all these superficial crap will only get you THAT far. it's ultimately your heart and brain that matter. i'm gonna work on that and rid my mind of temporal things.
i want to be happy. i'm gonna live. i'm gonna let go of everything meaningless, weep(but not wallow) and move on. i'm gonna embark 2011 with an open mind and a refreshing perspective. i'm gonna take risks and challenge myself. i'm gonna love like i've never been hurt before, because i know i'm strong enough to recover.
goodbye 2010, you've been such a bitch.
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